The Wheels on the bus

I sang this song to myself and laughed today.
Probably around 19 miles, so you can guess why I was singing it.
My cold had gotten slightly better by this morning, and I felt well enough to take no pain killers. I had a relatively good sleep, and was up at six for the breakfast.
Breakfast, tea, bodily function, good to go. Walked down for the bus, met the gang.
It was fairly subdued on the way in, everyone slightly nervous, and the wind and light rain was always a concern in the background. Even at this late stage, I had no plan. I didn't feel as fit as I had for London, the weather wasn't great, and my cold was still bugging me.
Something Brian C had said to me two days before was ringing in my ears though. A 1:25 half is sub 3 territory, sure you have to give it a go.
I didn't have to, but the seed was sown, so I lined up behind the balloons.
At the off, the start was less congested as it had been on the old course, and the runners moved relatively freely. The pace was slightly quick for the first few miles by about 5 seconds per mile, but comfortable. I got a bit of a surprise when I passed Sonia O Sullivan at two miles, and it did worry me a bit!
The wind was mostly on our backs for the first 10k, ( 42:31) and there was a light drizzle. The first doubts started to creep in at that point when we left the park on a slight uphill I found I had to dig in a bit, which wasn't really a good sign so early on. That was about 9 miles and then we hit a downhill section, which lulled me into a false sense of ease. Again at 12 miles, after the series of hills, I found my self digging in a bit harder. I undertook then to maintain the pace to the half way point, and re-asses. At halfway, 1:30:11, I felt  very different to how I had at London, and knew it was not going to be possible to maintain the pace. I didn't have the same energy, and my legs were very heavy.
I started to implement plan B, slow to 7:00 min miles, for a 3:05. Looking back, I should have taken it back to 7:10, the 7:00 was still tough, and at mile 15 this started to slip, badly.
Panic was starting to take hold, i had been here before a few years ago in Limerick, and I knew the damage had been done. I tried to run at just what felt comfortable, which was about 7:30 as it turns out.
30k, 2:11:24, all I could do was put one foot in front of the other, the wheels on the bus had definitely come off. My club mate Karen blasted by me just after the 30k, looking strong and confident, and I envied her her strength. I knew at this point it was just the goal to finish. I also knew , it wouldn't even be sub 3:15. My hips burned like never before. It was if the had just stopped working. I actually felt ok, not necessarily glycogen depleted, but my legs just refused anything faster than a pitiful shuffle.
Mile 19, 7:37
Mile 20, 7:36
Mile 21, 7:53
Ouch, I walked a bit. Once you walk, it's all over. What a difference this race was to London.
Brian went past me, head down working hard with the 3:10 pacers, i didn't even attempt to try to hang on, I knew enough to know it was pointless.
Mile 22, 9:16, walk, shuffle run, hips screaming at me. I also knew at this point I clearly did not have enough long runs done. A previous assertion that I still had London on the legs turned out to be wishful thinking. The wind was on our backs now, and an encouraging wave from Mo and family gave me a lift. The song 'everybody's shuffling' also came to me delusional mind, but at least I had a little chuckle.
Mile 23 9:34
Mile 24 10:36, FFS! When is going to be over! F##king marathons! who had the bright idea to start this sh#t!
Mile 25, 9:07, only due to some slightly faster shuffling!
Only one more mile to the finish, a consolation sub 3:20 surely. Great support along the way from the club mates encouraging me on, I felt humbled at their generosity, I was surely a pitiful sight!
Mile 26, 8:24, and so to the finish line. 3:18:59.
Three years ago, I had a similar experience at Dublin, and I was devastated. This year not so. Strangely, maybe it was the delusional state of mind, I smiled after collecting my medal, and was really rather grateful for being able to run 26.2 miles, regardless of the time.
Over the last year, a few things have happened which have made me realise how precious your health is. I didn't really enjoy this marathon, entirely my own fault, but I enjoyed the experience, if that makes sense.
Well done to all who finished, regardless of times. And as Gerry Duufy would say, 'I get to' have another go at some stage. Many are not so lucky.